The Drama

Well folks...

Looks like I temporarily will get to say good-bye to this
lovely shag carpet,
and a whole lot of this
wood panneling. Because we are planning on moving!

Don't get too excited.

We are planning on moving into the in-law's basement apartment, temporarily. Isn't that what most extremely pregnant women want to do? Move in the last weeks of their pregnancy!? Oh and not move further from the in-laws, but closer??? And then in 4-6 weeks when we have sufficiently worn out our welcome, MOVE BACK! Becuase I hear that's what ladies with brand new babies also love to do, move.

So here's the drama: We asked Grandma if we could please not have anyone stay at the house during the month of Feb. It shouldn't have been a big deal, usually visitors are slim that month and well... if you can't think of any reasons why a somewhat unstable woman with a brand new baby would want to be alone in the house she lives in during the middle of the winter... you should just stop reading now. We figured most people would be understanding. WRONG. SO WRONG. 21. 21 people asked Grandma if they could come stay at her house throughout those very short 28 days in Feb! 21!!! I'm not a good enough person to be able to handle that. And worst of all.. UNDERSTANDING is the absolute last response I have gotten from most of "the clan". They cannot figure out why I don't want to share my tv, living room, kitchen and kitchen appliances, food, and cleaning supplies (oh and did I mention my brand new baby) with them while they come to visit. They need a gathering place and they refuse to go elsewhere. Plus it's not like it's my house, so why should I be making requests/demands like that?! ugh.

OK, they are right. It's not my house. We just live here and have been super blessed. And things, of course, will work out fine because the in-law's are divine and offered us their basement apartment to live in, temporarily. And their spare vehicle to use, temporarily. But I just want you to think for a moment of this:

moving a lot of boxes and baby junk. And then doing it again, 4-6 weeks later. Because when I think of it, it seems a little crazy.

Fabulous New Year's!!!

To be honest, New Years is usually a kind of "dud" holiday for me. It is just too close on the tails of a fabulously large holiday, Christmas. Plus the whole resolution thing... well that's a rant for another day. Despite it all, I had a WONDERFUL New Years this year. I got to leave work (drama drama drama), I drove up to Idaho (alone albeit), and spent time with ALL 7 siblings and spouses (mine was the only one missing)AND BABIES. This pictures is only missing little Ava Love Juicey Fruit.
But everyone was there! And while we were pressed for privacy more than space, I had such a good time. It was awesome to meet little Tanner Dean -
- loving on the cat is just not the same after feeling his little soft, pudgy little body. It makes me very excited to have my little ninja.
I didn't actually go sledding or snowmobiling. I blame the belly.
(Yes I got a new camera for Xmas and had to try it out on myself)
But I did walk outside for pictures and to go extreme shopping in West Yellowstone. We missed seeing the bears, but watched an awesome Imax film about caves (highly recommended). Seanypoo was unfortunately sick and unable to go. He was real nervous about making all those little babies and pregnant ladies sick. But I'm getting good at being the lone ranger for Waddoups family functions. Plus he was in Yellowstone just a few months ago:
We actually went back to IF New Year's Eve, and I had the option to drive home but chose to stay. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!! We ate Cafe Rio, bought oodles of junk food, and stayed up playing Wackee Sixes until midnight. I may have missed out on fabulous Sushi in SF, but I had a sweet time trying to get "Wackee."

As far as the pregnancy goes.... I HAVE A STRETCH MARK. And it is in the most ridiculous place, right next to my belly button. I have been "buttering" up both sides, top and bottom of my massive belly but appparently forgot the belly button. And I know it is only there becuase "ninja" really likes to kick me right there. If he would stop kicking that one place, and simply kick elsewhere, I probably wouldn't have any stretch marks yet! I took a belly picture today, but I really just look/feel massive, so I'm posting like a second trimester picture and it is all you get!
I'll work on getting a better one before I'm due... 3 weeks !!!

What's in a name?

So naming your child is kind of a big deal. I mean they are pretty much stuck with it for their whole life. And while I know every person has their own personality, I definitely am a believer that your personality usually ends up fitting (or being rather close to some sort of generalization) about your name. Take Rachel. I thought my name was normal, but decently unique.... until I went to BYU. Most my BYU wards had 3-6 Rachel's in them, but this is the funny thing: you really are hard pressed to think of a Rachel you hate. I mean some Rachel's are annoying, but most seem to live on the fringe of popular to ameable. In all the Rachel's I met, most people generally liked them and wanted to be around them. Rachel's are not usually "the cookie", but fit quite well into the "cute" category and were generaly happy.

So now I have to name my kid (well soon anyways). And it's not only based on what I like/think about names and personalities, but then throw in Sean's opinion as well. Gage is apparently out becuase of some weirdo in Sean's past. Beckham has a veto (though I'm still "in like" with it) becuase of Sean's soccor experience. Liam is out becuase I think it sounds like a gay man. Graham thus far has been the winner. And I really think it's cute... but I don't have some perfect, adorable story or family connection to go with it. I originally thought of Grant because of McKenzie Mack's really cute cousin I used to oogle over as a kid. Graham got added to the list(and this is hard to explain without violating HIPPA laws) becuase I see a lot of names at work and I came across this one. (Sorry it is as specific as i can be). Honestly it has just kind of stuck. THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY. My poor kid. And I'll know exactly how he feels when he asks, "Mom, why did you name me Graham?" (which by the way means gravel or abode or possibly warring, while Grant means great,tall). and my only answer will be, "Because I liked it." Because my mom always told me she wasn't sure why, but she always wanted a little Rachel. Let me tell you, that answer makes for a really boring school report. But would it be worse to answer, "Because all the Grant's I knew growing up were HOT" ? Probably.

Anyways... I'm pondering names, supposed to be looking for carseats, have a weird sense of denial that Xmas is really going to happen (2 days, seriously), and miss my body 30 lbs lighter and about 2 shades tanner.

Slacker...

I can't believe how much of a slacker I have been. I really do try to post at least once a month, and I looked at blogger like 4 or 5 times in Nov... but apparently forgot to blog. Well, here's my current rants to make up for it.
Not a whole lot has been going on. I finished painting my crib and once I finish the "room" for the baby I will put up pics. I realized I still need a million things to be ready for this baby, but yet I feel ready for this baby. I have 9 more weeks, and apparently getting down to single digit weeks is a milestone in and of itself. Oh, and I am HUGE by the way. I'm working on more pics, but my camera has died, and Sean thinks it is weird when I ask him to take a picture of me. (Don't get me started on the things Sean is weird about... it just doesn't make sense)
I also, apparently, have not been going into the Dr. as often as I should. I go to my father-in-law's group (4 doctors). About a week ago they are walking through the building I work in, notice me sitting there in my huge-ness and started to ask each other who has been caring for me. Poor Dr. Skinner says he has only seen me a few times and thought I was going to my father-in-law. My father in law looks at him and says he hasn't done anything since about 15 weeks. They all turned on me and started asking ME who I was going to. They didn't buy my story about this being a very boring, regular pregnancy. I didn't even try to break into my story of "I know how the billing goes and I didn't want to waste your time." I was super red-faced and embarrassed as is. The ladies all around started hassling me, and I now have an appt to be seen TODAY. (Hopefully I don't get blown away.)
Oh and can I saw-- UTAH STINKS. Safety and Emissions. What the heck!? We drive a bi fuel vehicle, it can go CNG (a cleaner alternative) or regular gas. Sean takes the car in to get our YEARLY -- seriously ridiculous-- safety and emissions done and WE FAILED EMISSIONS! The car was running on CNG. The particulate count was totally fine... but our check engine light had come on at some point during the year. What we didn't know was the little light resets the engine chip in your car for certain things. We now have to drive the car through this ridiculous "series". You start the car cold, turn on air and rear view window heaters full blast for 4 minutes. (DON'T TOUCH THE BRAKES). You then accelerate at half throttle until you reach 55 mph, keep that speed for 3-5 minutes and decelerate (DON'T TOUCH THE BRAKES) to 20 mph. Maintain 20 mph for 5 minutes, then accelerate to 55 mph at 3/4 throttle (AGAIN, no brakes, meaning no stop signs or sharp turns etc). This is only PART of the "series" we have to do before we take the car back in again to see if we pass EMISSIONS. They suggested we do it TWICE just in case we screw up and TOUCH THE BRAKES. Where are on earth is there a road long enough to do this that you wouldn't completely halt traffic going 20, or break the law speeding at 55? I am trying to find some car Jacks to see if we can just lift the car and do "the series" in the garage. We'll see.

Being Pregnant IS Weird

Those of you who have been through it, you understand. You poor men out there... please just take pity on the woman who is slowly turning into a round blob beside you.

Bending... why does this hurt? I still have at least 3 more months to go and I already hate bending over to get the laundry, grab a pen, or feed the cat.

Eating... not sure why I can't stop. I have lost the "I'm full" filter and just keep making myself sick.

The baby moving... this is just weird. I mean really WEIRD. The first time I felt lil Ludlow, I was pretty sure it was just gas. A few days later, I couldn't get it to stop, and the "gas" flared up everytime I leaned forward to touch the floor in my work chair. As soon as it became something I didn't think I could stop I knew... There's my little boy! AND THEN, I felt him from the outside just a few weeks later. EW. Although I got nothing on me, it was the slimiest, grossest feeling. I already hate when people try to give me Eskimo kisses( put their cheek on you or next to yours and move their tongue inside their own mouth). It just bugs me. Ask Sean, he does it once a month if not more. Feeling lil Ludlow from the outside was just like that. I'm not sure if he was doing a roundhouse kick or what, but I felt something slimy glide by my fingers as I was pushing in, and it was nasty!

Now that he moves ALL the time, it is getting more normal. In fact my little ninja thinks he needs to move, wiggle, jab, whatever just about any time I'm sitting still. Apparently this means I have a very healthy baby.

Pants... zippers are pretty much useless at this stage. They have become one of those weird things that just don't work, and I'm constantly trying to cover them up with long shirts. I'm thinking it's time to succumb to pregnancy pants, but hate to pay for only 3 months of wear.

Motorcycling... I have to go take my skills test today. Hopefully they don't shun me off the parking lot for being 6 months pregnant and still riding my bike! Wish me luck!

Going Private

Please send me your emails... I just found out that basically anyone who googles my maiden name can find this blog and it unnerves me a little. I think my move over date will be Sept 20. Thanks.

My baby, the alien

So apparently the little Ludlow in my belly missed the memo ... "asian girl, asian girl, asian girl." I'm not terribly suprised seeing as the baby is not supposed to be able to hear noises until about 18 weeks. But yes, little Ludlow is going to be a boy.
Can I just say that ultrasound-ographers/doctors are very funny. In fact I couldn't quite get over how many times the stenographer kept saying, "Yah, girls definitely don't have that part." or "That thing is pretty unmistakable." I mean I'm glad my little boy has some serious manhood, and I realize that is the part most people are dying to hear... but give the little man some privacy! It probably didn't help that the first ultrasound we had done was by my spouse's father. He kept pointing out odd things like, "You see that little hand down there?" Rachel being oblivously dumb, "Yes, how cute." Dr. Ludlow, "Well it seems that the baby is scratching it's bum, definitely a manly trait. Must be a boy!" And these people truly must stare at screens for a long time, becuase they kept saying, "How cute." Have you seen 16 week ultrasounds? They are NOT cute. If you are thinking of adorable little pictures like this:
then you have not been in for a 16 week ultrasound in a while!!!
This: is a lot closer to what my ultrasounds look like. They ultrasound half way into the face, so you see this cross section that is basically a creepy looking, cone-headed skull. And then these grown men go, "How cute." COME ON!!! I feel like I'm watching some creepy sci-fi movie where the alien is going to crawl out of a hole and eat me! And becuase it is sound waves, you see the jaw bones really clearly. One thing the doctor/stenographer looks for is if the mouth opens and closes. So look back to the cone-headed skull, think about the little jaw bones opening and closing with only blackness behind... and try and spit out the words "How cute." My baby is an alien.

I really am very excited though about my little boy. My boy list of names at work keeps growing and growing. I realize that picking a name for a child, however, is a terrible thing to do while you are pregnant. There is no logic to the hormones, emotions, and tantrums I seem to have flowin. I write down the cutest name, read it a week later and think of the poor sap whose parents actually choose that name for their kid. Hopefully I will be smart and let Sean help me pick. I currently am working on looking for cute boy fabrics to cover the bumper and bed blanket. I mostly am getting my ideas from googling "cute boy rooms". Cheating? Yes, probably. Got any better ideas? I sure don't. Sean thinks we should go with a really bright Hawaiian theme. Definatley different, but not sure if I love it. The modern black and white is out because it looks really girly. And the walls downstairs are all dark brown panneling, so most browns in general are out.

Anyways. Ludlow is a boy. I am very happy. If he comes out blonde with blue eyes I will first kill my mother for cursing me, and then promptly give him to a lady at work who is dying for a baby (well that is the current plan... we'll see). Being pregnant is weird and I think I will blog about that next time :).

I really need to blog.. but..

OK, I know I really need to blog... BUT I HATE BLOGGING WITHOUT PICTURES. Sadly my camera is, what I like to think of as "slowing down with age". Really it is just old and no one wants to hold still long enough for me to actually get the picture, so I have next to no Redfish pictures.

BUT I LOVED REDFISH. It was pretty weird being pregnant (no tube wars), and still being in the first tri I was probably a little cranky (Sorry Hopkins children, wicked auntie Rachel will try to be better next year!). But as an adult, I really kind of love going up to see the Yankee Fork Dredge (maybe I'll hunt down a picture of it for this blog..mwa ha ha) and seeing Custer, the old ghost town. I even suckered up and bought a gold pan so we could pan for gold at Redfish. And look what I found!!!
OK maybe not!
But I did manage to get up on my first try skiing! And then abruptly realized I am WAY out of shape. I probably only made 4 cuts but I was still proud to be there. Even without a spouse I had a great time!

COMING HOME WAS SO SAD! Not only did we stand by the side of the road crying as the Avondet's minivanned off in tears, but coming home to Utah was seriously anticlimactic. I figured since I hadn't seen Sean in a week and a half he would be stoked to see me, but instead he had to finish a paper, take a test the next day, and the day after that. I went back and worked my 10 hour shifts and essentially didn't see my husband for a few days. It was good to come back and see the Ludlow clan (we currently have 7 adults and 2 dogs residing with us). They are very kind and respective. RAMSEY didn't even miss me :(. We had some serious bonding time yesterday though and I think he is back to fully appreciating me!

And lastly BABY STUFF IS EXPENSIVE. I realize I am over planning things. But it never hurts to be prepared right? OK so I saw this crib at a yard sale for 3 dollars (unfortunately I was only like 5 weeks along and hadn't told anyone so there was no way I could have safely bought it), and there was a stroller for like $5-10. I'm thinking this is going to be the cheapest baby ever... and then I started looking at stuff online. Even on KSL.com you can hardly find a decent looking crib for under a hundred bucks! Not to mention changing table, port-a-crib, dresser of some sort, stroller, car seat, running stroller, crib mattress, crib bumper, diaper genie, bouncy toy, swing, walking toy, high seat.... the list goes on and on. Just when you think you have found a decent deal, you realize that it is only one part of a huge 17 part scheme. I work at a medical clinic so I really do understand the cost of actually having the baby, but MAN ALIVE, the baby stuff can surely get you in the end. I am getting nervous because apparently car seats expire like bad milk, garage sale season is "ending" in SF, and the more cute stuff I see, the more I know I am going to want to spend. Any ideas or great wisdom to impart on this first timer?

The Things to Remember

Ok, so I graduated from BYU in 2008-- I realized that Jimmer was still no where close to Utah by the time I left. But can I just say... when I think back on BYU there are a few things that made it great. The fact that LDS kids are sober means we have ... well... a little bit more time...
to appreciate the arts. :)

FINALLY

I'm back to blogging!!! OOh I have to admit it feels really good. Whenever Sean is home we have this silent truce: I get the TV/Wii/Netflix and he gets the computer. He beats me home every day of the week besides Thursday-- which means he always gets the computer.

The last time I tried to blog I had this whole write up done about how I never clean the bathroom (still haven't but it is on my computer post-it note to do list). I reread it to make sure it makes sense and go to look for a picture, becuase lets face it, a blog isn't really that great without a picture. I make one tiny click on the perfect picture and of course...VIRUS. Can I say I am soooo awkward with viruses becuase I have used a Mac for the last 5 years (or at work we have a tech that fixes anything we may break). So basically nothing works for a while, I do something that I remember my dad doing to our home computer... and it all ends with Sean pretty ticked and telling me not to touch anything.

Well of course he couldn't mean forever, right? So I'm BACK! And not much really has gone on. I've decided Spring is officially the worst season of the year. You get all your hopes up that the weather is going to be warm and sunny, sometimes you even get a day or two of sun, and then it dumps rain/snow/hail and gets cold again. I've discovered I really don't do well with being let down, and Spring is a constant set of let-downs. Plus with all the birthdays I end up eating and not wanting to work out a lot more. Which of course food is really only a let down.

We did have a baby blessing and I loved having everyone over! It is great to live in Grandma's big house so we can have visitors. I keep forgetting to take my camera to family functions, Sean doesn't love my camera and his is kind of bulky to carry around. But I really like Kim's family. They are so sweet and sincere. It is fun to see a whole nother family that is "normal"-ish. I see so mandy weird/broken families in our ward that it is nice to know there are other families that can keep a marriage working, and have oodles of kids that are pretty cool.

This past Sunday we had Jake and Stacy over for a family dinner. Kim brought a fabulous dessert and we played the wii trivia game (cuz we can beat Jake every time :) ). Of course Sean was antsy to try out his Japanese cuisine on a new person so he made deep fried pork (tongatsu) with a bunch of other side dishes and it turned out really good.

Other than that I have been busy at work, I am going to become the Billing Supervisor in July, which will be a good little pay increase!! (Shopping here I come!). I love watching The Biggest lLoser (but I think Olivia pulling the baby card was a little outrageous), and I've finally met and become decent friends with our neighbor lady. We go walking when it is nice outside and are trying to decide on a 5K to walk this summer. Hopefully this will get you (all 5 people who glance at my blog :) ) through for a while.

Oh and here's a picture to make this blog "good."